Emotional connection and emotional support, would you agree?

Relationships are a team of 2 individuals. Both with different needs.

I can only speak from my own experience. Men, are very easily pleased with sexual pleasure. Over the years I've had this conversation with my husband, "I'm a simple man Pete, I only need sex to keep me happy." Often I hear similar stories from friends too. That men will often say “It doesn’t take much to please me, sex is all I need.” This conversation is (mostly) always followed by guilt and frustration from the woman, because of there is an expectation of us to switch on light a light bulb. *PING* 

The reality is women are exhausted, mentally and physically. On top of that, women are not having their needs met, for lots of reasons. Most of these beautiful women I speak too wish it was that simple! It's not that they don't want to engage, it's just they don't have the capacity or energy too.  

For a woman, sexual pleasure can feel like a lot of work and effort if we are not having our own needs met.

Women carry all the emotional (baggage) demands of the household and family life. Again, I speak from my own experience. This emotional baggage we carry is fucking exhausting! I've heard women say they wish they could swap places with a man, go to work and just have work to focus on, not all the other things that need taking care of, animals, children, bills, household chores, meal planning - I could go on. 

Men are hard wired to provide, it's what they do (They are damn good at it too) Think back to the stone ages, the men went out to hunt to provide food for the family/clans. They were the champions because they had the physical strength to do those things. 

We haven't changed much as a human race, that need to provide still runs very deep in a man's veins. As does nurturing and taking care of others does in women. 

Though over the centuries, while we haven't changed much as a race. Our society has changed so dramatically it's fucking hard to keep up, especially a full time working woman. 

My husband and I have been together longer than we have been a part. I snagged him (Poor bugger had not choice. I saw him and knew he was mine forever!) when we were 18. A relationship is a work in progress, I was brought up believing in Disney movies (don't judge me). That there was always going to be a happily ever after. What a slap in the face, right? That's not real life. 

I had so much resentment towards my beautiful man in those early days of parenting. He could go to work and that would be it (it wasn't, I'm being dramatic - he's amazing and has always been so helpful). But that's what it felt like. For years I heard the same story, "I'm a simple man, simple pleasures". I'd be left feeling so guilty because it never felt that way for me. After the birth of our second daughter we went 18 months without sex. It wasn't that we didn't try, I just couldn't. I remember feeling so guilty, but also I remember feeling, what about me and my needs? 

I needed more than just sex, don't get me wrong, the intimacy and physical touch does make you feel good. But I was craving MORE. 

I had no idea what more was. My internal dialogue was, "there is something wrong with me." 

****INSERT: Yoga, self discovery, self awareness, worldy awareness....****

The fact is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I just had no awareness to what I needed from a relationship. I had been flying blindly through life, believing what others were saying that it's just the way it is for a woman and continued until I couldn't. 

Oh boy did I battle, battled with my internal stories. I felt and still feel this Devine sense of gratitude for my husband. How was I going to approach a conversation about my needs and how I wanted more from our relationship, when he was already giving me so much? I got to a point where my needs meant more to me than anything in the world, and I just couldn't continue living this way. If he didn't take this well, I had to accept that he could leave me. I was prepared for this.

How wrong those stories in my head were. He sat, he listened, we both cried and we both agreed that we needed to actually put some hard work in, together make our relationship, and family flourish.

When a man can meet and support a woman on an emotional level, not just provide us with financial or physical support. Man oh man can we provide him with what he needs, because the weight of the world doesn’t “feel” so heavy when we “feel” supported. We are women, we feel things. When everyones needs are met, life doesn't feel so heavy. 

Our relationship flourished (and continues too - because we both need reminding) when we had these conversations, not just on an emotional, but also physical level.

If you have a husband, have the conversations. Don’t be afraid to ask him for more. Whatever your more is.

These conversations can feel like you’re not grateful for all that he already does, you know deep down how grateful you are (let him know that) Never stop telling your man how much you appreciate him. 

These conversations aren't an attack on him as a person, 9 times out of 10 your husband has no fucking clue that you need more. 

You have needs to. Physical and emotional. The more they are met, the more sensual, beautiful, and confident you will feel as a woman. 

Sorry to my family for the TMI. In the end, we are all human and we all have needs?